Eating's Not Cheating

Immediately after a graveyard shift

I suppose it's cheating to include something that occurred outside work, but this little gem of self deprecation is too good to keep to myself.

At a 24 hour diner, two friends who had kept my company, (and acted as security as needed), and I were eating what we considered dinner. Burgers for them, a philly cheese steak for myself. The gentleman across the table chimed in with a joke.

"Why couldn't Anne Frank drive a car?"

"Heard it," I said. "'coz she's a woman."

"Yeah. Ok. Damn. How's this? Why did Anne Frank's dog kill itself?"

"You would too if your name was HNNEARURUUUURFFF. Dude, you're going to be hard pressed to tell me an Anne Frank joke that I haven't heard." I smiled, so very sure of myself. "Man," I continued, "Once I got into this argument with this girl who insisted that Anne Frank was the girl who hid from Nazis and wrote that famous diary, and just wouldn't let up. For fucks sake, she was the deaf dumb and blind girl in the south. Everyone knows that."

This went on for about five minutes before my other friend chimed in.

"...you guys mean Hellen Keller, right?"

Silence.

"FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUU-"

(for clarifications sake, the argument I got into with a girl in the past- she was actually insisting that Anne Frank's name was Hellen Keller... which means the gentleman across the table and I had just done the exact same thing I was complaining about while complaining about it.)